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In January 2021, Bella had what she calls a burnout. Her mood changed. She wasn’t herself. “My immediate trauma response is people-pleasing,” she explains. “It literally makes me sick to my stomach if I leave somewhere and someone is unhappy with me, so I always go above and beyond, but the Nice wait it’s all ohio always has been astronaut meme 2022 shirt In addition,I will do this issue with that is that I get home and I don’t have enough for myself. I became manic. I bleached my hair. I looked like a troll doll. Then I dyed it—it looked like a sunrise. That should have been the first sign.” Under a great deal of professional pressure and after weeks of waking up in nearly suicidal despair, she spent two and a half weeks at a treatment program in Tennessee. She added the two mainstays of Western psychiatry, talk therapy and medication, to her otherwise holistic regimen. These have changed her life. Wellbutrin dialed down her depression, tightened the faucet of tears, and made the myriad demands of her career more bearable. Therapy, she says, is the biggest gift she has ever given herself. “For so long, I didn’t know what I was crying about. I always felt so lucky, and that would get me even more down on myself. There were people online saying, You live this amazing life. So then how can I complain? I always felt that I didn’t have the right to complain, which meant that I didn’t have the right to get help, which was my first problem.”
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